May 6, 2011

OBL - Pick your conspiracy theory

The nice thing about Pakistan is that conspiracy theories are always available in abundance when it comes to our western neighbour...even on a bad news day there is no shortage of them.

So there are tons of conspiracy theories doing the rounds in world media fed by the usual journalistic goal of producing newsworthy news, even if it means being economical with the truth or inventing facts...where none exist.

Let us summarise them here...

Conspiracy theoryIn favour...Against...
OBL is alive, just like Elvis!He has been 'dead' before this...only to reappear later.. We have to ask some sharks and other fish swimming in the Arabian Sea...
It was a joint Paki-US operation
  • Not easy to spend 2 hrs flying through Paki airspace, making a huge racket with helicopters and bombs right next to a major military facility and not have even a local cop drop by to see what's going on!
  • Risk of Pakistani army over-reacting and perhaps dropping a nuke on India, fearing the worst..
  • Why use super-secret stealth helicopters and risk them falling into Pakisani (re-exported to China) hands? If Pakistanis know about it, ordinary ones would do.
  • Why Abbotabad, instead of some remote location in tribal area to preserve Pakistan's honor & dignity?
  • Why deny the whole thing and make Pakistani army look like the chief idiot of the global village?
It was a Paki operation, Americans just collected the bodyThis is Xinhua's version.. This is Xinhua's version!
No one told Pakistan, at least not until job was done or almost done
  • Official US and Pakistan version..
  • Preserves Pakistan's image amongst the beards and jihadis, so more can be sold down the river in future when Americans demand some results..
  • Risk of accidental battle with Pakistani troops or worse..

The good news from Indian perspective is that while the jehadi terrorists inside Pakistan and Afghanistan will believe that Pakistan sold yet another ex-ally down the river for a few dollars, the rest of the world will believe the 'official' theory that they were incompetent or worse - they were hiding bin Laden knowingly!

And the Government is already exploiting the situation cleverly by simply not making a big fuss...because that would allow the incompetent / terrorist-aiding (take your pick) generals to divert attention to India and unite the Pakis in a anti-India coalition.